I didn’t know how to start when you don’t know what to do. I just had a growing sense that something needed to change.
Not because I was burned out.
Not because I couldn’t keep up.
But because I wanted so much to believe I was capable of something more.
The Lie We Tell Moms (and Ourselves)
When I was a stay-at-home mom, my dental hygienist used to tell me every time I saw her,
“You’re doing the most important work.”
And I believed that. Mostly.
But when you’re in the middle of wiping butts, breaking up sibling fights, and reheating the same cup of coffee for the third time, it doesn’t always feel like important work.
So I started selling makeup.
Not because I was chasing a dream, but because I needed something of my own.
Something that reminded me I was more than just the cleaner, the cook, the finder of all lost things.
How Homeschooling Changed Me
When the world shut down in 2020, I made the decision to homeschool.
Not because I felt called to it (in fact, the opposite might have been true—I’d always said “I’m not a teacher”)
but because I knew what my kids needed.
And I didn’t see them getting that unless I stepped in.
It was hard.
But it was also the most confidence-building thing I’ve ever done.
I didn’t have training or a teaching degree. But I figured it out.
I chose the curriculum.
I built the calendar.
I wrote the lesson plans, taught three grade levels at once, and created a system that worked.
And when my kids went back to school?
They weren’t behind… they were ahead.
I did that.
Then I Went Back to Work… and Started to Shrink
After homeschooling, I took a full-time job for the first time in almost a decade.
And with it, I lost more than flexibility.
I lost confidence.
I went from being the one who ran everything
to being the one no one noticed.
The one whose work was credited to someone else.
The one who could do more, but wasn’t asked.
I didn’t hate the job. I just hated how small I felt in it. I felt stuck and unsure how to start over when you’re stuck in a life you didn’t choose. Like I had to prove my value to people who weren’t even paying attention.
I missed being in charge.
I missed knowing that what I did mattered.
And even though I thought about quitting, I didn’t want to walk away without a plan.
Then—plot twist—I got laid off.
What I Know Now
Looking back, I see now that I didn’t need a perfect plan. I just needed a reason to believe I could start over when I felt stuck.
There wasn’t a single “breaking point.”
Just a slow realization: I didn’t want to go back to the way things were.
I didn’t want to settle.
And I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for someone else to notice what I was capable of.
How to Start Over When You’re Stuck (Even Without a Plan)
If you’re trying to figure out how to start when you don’t know what to do, here are five things that helped me get unstuck.
1. Look at What You’ve Already Done
Confidence doesn’t come from hype. It comes from proof.
Remind yourself of what you’ve pulled off when you had to.
2. Ask Honest Questions
What have I done that made me feel proud?
What did I enjoy—even when it was hard?
3. Stop Waiting for a Big Breakthrough
Sometimes the clarity comes after the first step, not before.
4. Find the Work That Makes You Feel Alive
Even if it’s not profitable yet.
Even if it’s just a whisper of something more.
5. Give Yourself Credit
You’re not lost. You’re becoming.
This Is the Work That Matters Now
I created Abbey Red for women like you and me—women who know they were made for more, even if they’re still figuring out what that looks like.
If you’re trying to figure out how to start over when you’re stuck, I made a guide to help.
Grab the free guide here
Or go deeper with the full Made for More journal.
Let’s figure this out: one small step at a time.
Just do the next right thing.
Yes, I just channeled Frozen 2.
You can take the mom out of Disney, but you can’t take the Disney out of the mom.
